Useful tips for parents about raising children. Useful tips for children Useful tips for young children

Advice for children

1. Tip “Eat porridge”
You have not yet opened your eyes, and your mother leads you to the kitchen, where there is a plate of porridge. But you haven’t loved her since childhood. Nutritionists are unanimous that porridge is your chance to maintain a slim figure. It protects against overeating and nourishes the body well. American scientists have proven that porridge helps fight fat deposits in the abdominal area.

2. Advice. "Don't talk on the phone for too long"
While talking on the phone, you hold the receiver with your cheek. The tube is a source of various bacteria, and prolonged friction can irritate the skin and lead to inflammation.

3. Tip “Remove your bangs from your forehead”
There is an eternal struggle for the rule of choosing your own style. Mothers show character, children refuse to change anything in their appearance and follow fashion trends. Oil from the scalp along with styling products can cause inflammation of the facial skin. If you have a cascading haircut or bangs, then you need to use cosmetics that do not contain silicone and oil.

4. Advice. "Quit smoking"
It does not work? The reasoning behind this advice is that smoking increases your biological clock. Which will make you look several years older. With each puff of a cigarette, a large dose of toxins will enter the body and free radicals will appear. And they will lead to the early appearance of wrinkles. As a result of smoking, blood vessels narrow, the skin looks lifeless and does not receive sufficient nutrition. Wrinkles appear in the corners of the lips due to numerous puffs.

5. Tip “Don’t frown, otherwise you will get wrinkles”
And indeed it is. Your face will not be paralyzed overnight. Movements that appear day after day leave their mark on the face. And if you constantly frown, a transverse wrinkle will soon appear on your forehead. You should not prop your cheek with your fist, as this will cause unsightly folds around your eyes. Contractions of the facial muscles will cause the skin to deform and stretch. And it is these repeated movements that cause most wrinkles.

Good advice for children 6. Advice. "Put on your hat"
You've heard this advice since childhood. Your mother reminds you of this with enviable consistency when the weather gets cold outside. If you walk without a hat, this will lead to hypothermia, which will weaken your immune system and increase the risk of viral diseases. The cold can cause the blood vessels in the head to narrow and the blood supply to be disrupted, which can cause neuralgia of the trigeminal and facial nerves.

7. Advice. "Sit like a lady"
And here we are not talking about your good manners, this is concern for your health. Sitting cross-legged increases the appearance of spider veins on your legs. Crossing your legs puts pressure on your veins. Sit comfortably, but intertwine your legs below the knees, which will not affect the health of your veins.

8. Advice. "Don't squeeze pimples"
Don't touch the pimples, because your mother won't advise you anything bad. If you compress the area of inflammation, this will cause the “purulent contents” to move in all directions, which will increase its size and cause swelling and redness. This will make the pimple take longer to heal. Lubricate it with cortisone ointment.

9. Advice. “Turn off the TV and stretch your legs.”
The film can be watched later on a disc, and the broadcast can be repeated. A little warm-up will normalize blood flow in the skin and improve your mood. When you are stressed, cortisol levels increase, and this leads to nervous stress and breakdowns, deterioration of the complexion and the appearance of acne. Do some exercises. They will help “neutralize” cortisol fluctuations and your skin and body will look flawless.

10. Advice. "Dress warmly"
“Where it’s even warmer,” you say indignantly and throw a fashionable bomber jacket or biker jacket over your shoulders. Wearing short jackets causes hypothermia and leads to lower back pain, renal failure, cystitis. And a common consequence of walking around the city in light clothes is inflammation of the genitourinary system. Do you know why thin young girls have fat deposits on their lumbar back? But because in this way the body, with the help of the fat layer, tries to protect it from hypothermia internal organs. After all, hypothermia provokes different inflammatory diseases.

Now we know what useful tips parents recommend to their children.

Young children have an amazing ability to shatter our illusions about motherhood and parenting. When we look at photographs of our babies, we see their happy faces and remember funny moments from their lives. But behind this there is still a lot of physical and emotional work that we do as parents. Hysterics, whims, sleepless nights, quarrels - you must try to react to all this correctly in order to remain a good mother. Or at least try.

Psychotherapist and mother of two children Andrea Loen Neyer went through a difficult journey of raising her age. For herself, she came up with ten phrases that helped her control herself during the difficult period of motherhood.

10 phrases that help me be a good mom

Recently I was walking up the stairs, passing photographs of my children when they were 1 and 3 years old, when I suddenly stopped. I pass by these photos many times a day, but for some reason at that moment I stopped and stared at their young faces.

I started crying as my heart filled with regret. In fact, I don't remember many details of that year - it was one of the most difficult of my life. I slept no more than two hours at a time every night. My youngest kept waking up every two hours or so, and my oldest was up at 5am. Most of my days ended in tears.

Looking at these photos makes me want to go back in time and be better. I would like to lead myself through the hardest moments of life, making me the mother I would like to be.

In fact, this was one of the main reasons I left my psychotherapy practice and went into parenting education: I needed to know how to become a better person.

I won't let it get to me

This phrase really saved me. When milk spills, toys take over the house, or the bathtub overflows and ends up on the floor, I take a really long, deep breath and tell myself, I'm not going to let this get to me.

Because this happens almost every day.

He's not trying to make me angry, he's trying to deal with his frustration.

One of my kids is what they call an “energetic” kid. My days as a mother of preschoolers were filled with tantrums. I became an expert at preventing, de-escalating and managing tantrums because I had to! I needed to find a way to throw myself a lifeline.

One of the things I did to avoid my fight-or-flight response when one (or both) of my children experienced aggressive outbursts was to remind myself that my child did not want to make me angry: he was upset and lacked tools, communication skills and skills needed to deal with this situation. Undoubtedly, it is easier to react to aggressive attacks when you yourself are not aggressive.

I wonder why my child is desperate?

Some of the reasons why my boys threw tantrums for hours seemed completely ridiculous to me. I soon realized that no matter how stupid they seemed to me (the banana was broken, the yogurt was stirred, the yellow plate was occupied) for my child they were a significant reason for outbursts of rage.

I overcame the absurdity of these reasons and searched for meaning. In most cases, the answer to the question “Why?” lay deeper than visible: he was fed up with me not paying close attention to him, I offered him a snack much later than I should have, and by this point he was “ready.” And some days kids get angry over a broken banana just because they have very little experience - they don't know that bananas taste the same when broken, or that a banana can't be glued back together. In their world, the banana went from being delicious to being trash.

Knowing the answer to the question “Why?” makes it easier for me to see things in perspective and focus on supporting my child rather than blaming them.

How can I react without being intimidating?

I constantly ask myself: what should my reaction be to my child's actions so that he still feels respected and loved. I wrote the following phrase on the board next to the sink: “What is the most emotionally safe way to respond so that my child knows he is loved?” From "A Safe Home: Why Emotional Safety Is the Key to Raising Children Who Live, Love, and Behave Well" by Joshua Straub.

What my children think of me is more important than what strangers think

I calmly endured children's tantrums, trying to get them out of public places without worrying about the judgmental glances of random spectators. It became more important for me to be on the side of the child than to face the disapproval of strangers.

It's okay to cry

I mean myself, not my children. On several occasions, my children witnessed me unable to hold back my sobs. It doesn't happen often, but when I throw my hands up in surrender and don't know what to do, I just allow myself to feel helpless and sad. Interestingly, every time this happened, my children stopped their noisy games to be with me. I allowed myself to cry until I felt empty.

I taught my children to do the same thing - cry until the tears stop. Clarity often comes after tears.

I need myself

I made the mistake of trying to do everything while raising small children. I realized that in order to keep my self intact, I needed to pay more attention to my needs. Knowing what I was missing and taking steps to make up for it helped me become more fulfilled. And then I was able to share myself with my children.

Give a place to rest

It takes effort. Isn't it stupid that we should make an effort to rest? But it is so. I needed to make time to rest because, imagine, small children take up so much of our energy!

Calm down first. Then speak

When my children are upset, I don't talk to them until I calm down myself (if I feel the need to).

Stop. Think about it

When chaos is happening around me and I start to get irritated, I remind myself: sit down, breathe and think about accessible ways problem solving. Reminding me of this step helps me avoid getting involved in dramatic twists and turns and find a way out of the situation.

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Before giving your child independence, you need to take care of his safety.

Today we will tell you how to teach your child to behave correctly with strangers.

You can show these illustrations to your child and discuss any dangerous situations with him.

Hide first and last name

Do not write the child's first and last name on his things, do not hang personalized keychains on a child’s backpack, or sign a lunch box or thermos. So someone else might find out his name. If a stranger addresses a child by name, he immediately gains his trust and can further manipulate the baby.

It’s better to write your phone number on the tag in case the item gets lost.

Run away from cars in the opposite direction

We teach children not to get into cars with strangers - that's the right thing to do. Let the child learn one more rule: if a car stops near him or she is driving behind him, and someone from the car wants to attract his attention, you need to quickly run away in the direction opposite to the movement of the car. This will help the child gain time and seek help.

Create a family password

If a stranger asks your child to go to where Mom or Dad is waiting, have the child ask him for his parents' names and password. Come up with it together with your child passphrase for an emergency, if you suddenly ask someone you know to pick up your child from kindergarten or school. The password should be unexpected so that it cannot be guessed: for example, “fluffy orange.”

Install tracking apps

Thanks to the GPS sensor, the application shows the coordinates of your child and the battery level of his phone.

Life360 Locator iOS | Android
GPS Phone Tracker iOS |

Wear a watch with a panic button

Gadgets with panic button come in the form of a watch, keychain, bracelet or medallion. Parents, through a special mobile application, can constantly track the child’s location, and if he presses a button, the parents or the security service receive a signal.

Shouting “I don’t know him!”

Tell your child that if he is grabbed by a stranger, then he can and should be “bad”: bite, kick, scratch and attract attention at any cost, even if it is very scary. You need to shout loudly: “I don’t know him! He wants to take me away!”

Stop talking and keep your distance

The child should know that strangers can chat not only children, but also adults, so it is important to quickly go to a safe place within 5-7 seconds after starting the conversation. You should stand at a distance of 2–2.5 meters from the stranger; if he gets closer, you need to take a step back. Rehearse this situation with your child, show a distance of 2 meters and warn that it must be maintained during the conversation.

Don't get into an elevator with strangers

Teach your child to wait for the elevator with his back to the wall so that he can see everyone who approaches him. And if this is a stranger or someone you barely know, do not go into the elevator with him under any pretext: pretend that you forgot something, or go to the mailbox. If someone invites you in, the best option- politely answer that parents allow you to ride in the elevator only alone or with neighbors. If a stranger tries to drag you into an elevator or cover your mouth, you need to fight, scream and bite.

Warn your child that in the modern world, criminals can find their victims via the Internet, and “Misha from next door” is not always the neighbor’s 10-year-old boy. A dangerous person can conduct harmless correspondence. Explain what should not be reported strangers, even to children, your phone number, address, last name, send photos and tell them when and where you like to go for walks. And even more so, you should not agree to go for a walk with a stranger.

Every parent dreams of raising a healthy, happy and harmonious developed child. Along the way, he encounters obstacles and unanswerable questions. Or, conversely, there are too many answers and it is not clear which one is correct. It remains to rely on common sense and expert opinion. We selected useful tips from the books, based on the achievements of science and practice, which will be a good help for parents.

1. Let kids play more often

Since 1955, the time that children spend playing has been decreasing, but at the same time their level of anxiety is increasing, depression, a feeling of helplessness, and at the same time children's narcissism and decreased empathy are more often observed. Unpleasant statistics. But it is within the power of adults, each of us, to give our child what he needs for harmonious development. In this sense, the game is needed like air.

Why does reducing play time lead to emotional and social disorders? Play is a natural way to teach children to solve their problems, control desires, manage emotions, look at a problem from different points of view, discuss disagreements and communicate with each other as equals. There is no other way to learn these skills. This is why it is so important that your child spends a lot of time playing.

2. Stimulate curiosity

Children have an innate tendency to understand the world, which must be supported. One way to do this is to show all possible, most various options problem solving. Experiments confirm this idea: if, during the game, a child is immediately shown one single function of a toy, he will come to the conclusion that it can’t do anything else. But when the toy was given to the child “at the mercy”, they figured out how to use it in different ways, not just in one way.

The conclusion is simple. Those who were not specifically taught had no reason to think that they had been shown all the possible options, so they began to study it more carefully and discovered new uses for themselves. And this doesn't just apply to games. But also to life.

3. Allow your child to be friends with elders

IN different age groups Young children have the opportunity to do things that would be too difficult or dangerous to do on their own or in a group of their peers. They can also learn something just by watching older kids and listening to them talk. The elders emotionally support the younger ones and take care of them better than their peers.

In the 1930s, Russian psychologist Lev Vygotsky coined the term “zone of proximal development.” It means an activity that a child is not able to perform alone or with peers, but can perform with the participation of more experienced people. Vygotsky suggested that children learn new skills and develop thinking by interacting with others in their zone of proximal development.

This is why the opportunity to interact with older children is important for a child's physical, social, emotional and mental development.

4. Live by the “4:30 a.m. rule” yourself.

Ultramarathoner Travis Macy talks about the “4:30 a.m. rule” that both his father and he always adhered to. It began, as you might guess, with an early rise. But that's not the point. At least not the whole point. Travis's father, Mark, was a father of two who worked hard at his career as a lawyer, enjoyed running and cycling, and began racing, which soon led him to competing in ultramarathons.

And now, when he is over sixty, dad lives in the same regime, only now he wakes up at four in the morning (or even earlier). He is involved in all the important moments in his grandchildren's lives and still never misses my competitions. Incredible. Amazing.

Travis Macy grew up to be a wonderful family man, loving father and an athlete with incredible fortitude, -

Training and competition went against his main goals as a family man and professional. But as someone who strives to live life to the fullest and succeed at everything, he was determined to make it all work together somehow. And I came up with it. Dad knew that best time for work - early morning. While other people were sleeping or slowly rocking before the start of the workday, dad was already working. Waking up every morning no later than 4:30, dad had time to go to the office to work, then go for a lunch run, return to work for a few hours, stop at the bike trail on the way home for a mountain bike ride, and return home early enough to spend time with us. and attend all of our extracurricular activities.

What is the meaning of this rule? As parents, you must be firm in your decisions.

Briefly, if you make a decision in advance, then when the time comes to act, you are no longer distracted by thoughts about whether you want to do it or not. This rule should not be taken literally; waking up at 4:30 am is just an example of the strong will you need to have to achieve success.

A strong internal commitment - to a child, a family, a relationship (or an exercise program and a project at work) - is the most important thing you can do in life. This is where it all begins. And you set a worthy example for children.

5. Support your child

Psychologists have come up with a formula: 10,000 hours of practice equals expertise in any field. In studies of composers, basketball players, writers, speed skaters, pianists, chess players, hardened criminals, and so on, this number appears with surprising regularity. Mozart began writing music at the age of 6, and his first great works appeared only at the age of 21. Or another example: it also takes about ten years to become a grandmaster. (Only the legendary Bobby Fischer achieved this honorary title faster: it took him nine years. But not three years or a year!) 10,000 hours is equivalent to 3 hours of practice per day, or 30 hours per week for ten years.

If you notice a talent in your child, let him discover it. Without parental support, it is impossible to work 10,000 hours. Remember: 10,000 hours is a very, very long time. Children and young people cannot work that many hours alone. We need the support and help of parents. This style of parenting is called “co-development.” Its task is to actively “stimulate and evaluate the child’s talents, skills and motivations.”

If you want to raise a genius (or at least not an unhappy person), give your child the opportunity to do what he loves without restrictions.

6. Teach children to distinguish good from bad

If a bad deed is rewarded, the young brain may identify it as beneficial in terms of the individual's survival. If a child gets support when he is aggressive but not when he is cooperative, his brain can easily learn that aggression is good for his survival.

If a baby receives a reward while sick and loses it when he recovers, he forms corresponding long-term bonds.

The brain doesn't learn from experts children's education and not according to etiquette textbooks. It learns based on changes in the content of certain neurochemical substances in it. Every time you and your children were rewarded or, conversely, felt threatened, you added new circuits to the neural infrastructure that tells you where to look for respect, recognition and trust in the future.

7. Let your children feel happy more often

Happy moments in the past create special connections between neurons that are ready to produce “happy hormones” the next time you experience similar positive feelings. In other words, the more often your child feels happiness and joy, the easier it will be for him in adulthood.

For example, a child who is highly respected by his parents because he knows how to use computers develops neural connections that allow him to expect greater joy in providing such help to others. He repeats his actions, and in his nervous system new neural pathways for happiness emerge.

Every positive moment strengthens neural pathways, and our brains are designed to “turn to” those pathways that are the strongest and most used. A person accumulates experience from childhood, and then turns to it throughout his life.

8. Hug your children more often

Touching and hugging is not someone's whim. There is a clear physiological basis that makes both adults and children happy when they show affection to each other. Oxytocin is the “happy hormone” that is secreted in mammals.

Having children also causes a significant rush of oxytocin. And both for parents and children. Raising other people's children also increases oxytocin levels.

Oxytocin gives us the pleasure of being calm around those we trust. This is not a conscious decision, but rather a physical feeling of security. Neural pathways formed by oxytocin occur throughout our lives. And it is very important to form them in childhood, so that the child feels joy from life more often.

9. Give up the idea that you determine your child's future.

If we ourselves value freedom and are responsible for our actions, then we must respect the child’s right to independently chart his own path in life. Our aspirations cannot become the child’s aspirations, nor vice versa. The search for your own course begins in early childhood.

To learn to be responsible for themselves, children must learn to make decisions every hour, day or year, and this is something they can only learn through practice.

All loving and caring parents care about the future of their children, so it is difficult for them not to try to control them. But any attempt made under control will not lead to the goal. When we try to determine the fate of a child, we do not allow him to control his life and learn from his own mistakes.

The information materials contain brief tips on raising a child: is it necessary to attend kindergarten, development of vocabulary of a preschool child, children's egoism, family conflicts, aggressive behavior children.

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Useful and interesting tips

What does kindergarten give a child?

Communication lessons are a very important component of a child’s development. Through the prism of communication, he will encounter an “other” who will have his own character. Perhaps this “other” baby will become his best friend, and maybe you will have to go through conflicts that will be resolved by educators. In any case, this will be a good lesson for the child in the future.
In addition to communication, he will learn many important things: daily routine, cooperative games, participation in matinees. The baby will develop both mentally: drawing, counting, reading (in older groups), and physically: doing gymnastics, running, performing various exercises.
It must be remembered that kindergarten is a step in preparing for school life. So it’s worth paying attention to the child’s first artistic masterpieces, to how much time it takes him to learn a song or rhyme. All these are indicators of the child’s development.

What should he say?

Healthy child by one year must at least say one word other than the names of family members. A little later he will already use several words, usually nouns. He will also be able to understand many simple "give me" instructions and can show many objects when asked.
By the time the child reaches two years , he must be able to speak in phrases consisting of 2-3 words and carry out commands consisting of two steps, or steps, for example: “Give me this toy, and then take it to daddy.” The child should be able to ask the question: “What is this?” and use negative phrases like “I won’t go”, “I don’t want” and have about 300 words in your vocabulary.
Between two and three yearsthe child must learn to speak in short sentences like “I’ll go find my mother.” By the age of three, a child should be able to freely use present tense verbs in his speech, as well as construct sentences of 3-4 words and have about 1000 words, including abstract concepts.
Four year old the child asks “why” and “who” and asks many other questions. His sentences are 4-5 words long and he uses past tense verbs correctly. His vocabulary expands to approximately 1,500 words and he is able to pronounce most consonants correctly.
In a five year old A child's sentence is 5-6 words long, and he uses about 2000 words in his vocabulary. He uses all types of sentences in his speech that require future, past and present tenses. Children whose speech skills are delayed for more than six months should be examined by a doctor.

How not to raise an egoist?

As a rule, in a family with only child his parents give everything to him alone. This applies not only to material values, but, above all, to care and love. They do everything for him, whatever he asks, fulfill all his wishes. Parents really want to indulge their child in everything - of course, this is their only treasure. But do not forget that by doing this you can harm the baby. After talking among themselves, parents should set their own boundaries for raising a child and try not to go beyond them. Your child should communicate more with peers - let it be in kindergarten or a group of cousins. The main thing is that he knows: he is the only child in the family, but not the only one in the world. You should instill in him such simple norms, like sharing candy, a book, a toy with other children. This simple method will help him not become selfish.

A child is not a robot!

Very often, parents of an only child try to instill in him all the abilities they can, sending him to all clubs and sections. They want to make a prodigy out of their only child, and in the end he will study at an average level everywhere, because he has not yet understood and decided what he would really like to do. Give him the right to choose. Let him attend several sections at once, if you want, and he will understand what he likes best. A child is not a robot; he cannot do everything well. Who should you take into account the child's preferences? Under no circumstances put pressure on him, demanding that your hopes and aspirations be realized.

Conflicts in the family - stress for the baby

Conflicts, whatever they may be, will in any case have a detrimental effect on your baby. There are three main types of conflicts:

Stormy showdown. This option is the most difficult for a child. Everything happens before his eyes - your quarrels, insults, curses. And even if all this is said in the heat of the moment, so to speak, in the heat of the moment, the child will remember everything he saw and said for a long time, if not forever. Perhaps he will become secretive, or perhaps, on the contrary, more nervous and impressionable.
“Quiet” showdown. This option, of course, is easier for the baby, but you still risk putting him before a choice. As a rule, quarreling parents “quietly” play a game of silence and, communicating only with the child, try to win him over to their side. Thus, the baby finds himself between two fires and does not know what to do - after all, he loves both mom and dad equally. The child is trying his best to reconcile his parents, but on the other hand, mom and dad began to show even more care and concern for him, so why change anything? It is put into the mind of the child that a quarrel between parents can be beneficial.
Pretend that “everything is fine.”This is probably the most common type of quarrel, which most seriously affects the child. Spouses often pretend to be a “good family” for various reasons: someone thinks that it is better for a child to live in a full-fledged family than with one of the parents, someone maintains their status for the sake of a career, someone simply has nowhere to go after a divorce. This is how they live, creating an illusion, and meanwhile the child suffers. U little man one gets the feeling that he is simply being deceived. And who can you trust if not your own parents?

Little aggressor

Aggressive behavior in a child may include actions such as biting, hitting, pinching, and knocking other children down. Around the age of about a year, it is quite normal for a child to pull things towards him, bite, or otherwise explore the outside world using his teeth and fingers. Usually in this case there is no talk of hostility. By the age of two or three, a child’s biting is a way to attract attention or an act of displeasure. After three years biting and similar actions are already an expression of aggression due to irritation. Sometimes such actions are a way to get an item that another child has. With age, however, overaggressive behavior must be controlled in order for the child to develop into a socially acceptable personality.

Parents' actions. Do not encourage your baby to laugh if he has bitten someone. Give him something to chew. If he can speak or understand you, then tell him: "We don't bite"... Always look at the child when you teach him, and make him look back at you. Establish peaceful interpersonal relationships in your family, let them be the rule. Use “time out” to raise your child. When he is over-aggressive, place him in an isolated, uninteresting place at a rate of one minute for every year of his life. Comfort his victim as well. If the incident occurred on playground, take the child home. Praise and reward your child for good behavior. Teach him to use words rather than physical actions to express his anger and irritation. And finally, show him an example of self-control in your own behavior.

Little stubborn guy.

Child younger age(one to three years) sometimes refuses to fulfill requests and orders from adults on time; he may constantly say “no” or even ignore any appeal to him. In general, children tend to express their individuality through the denial of everything and everyone. They With early years They begin to discover that they can control many events: refusing to do something is a kind of way to assert their independence. On the other hand, negativism or bad mood may be associated with painful symptoms, e.g. elevated temperature, starting with illness, fatigue or boredom. Therefore, it is important to assess the child’s general condition before attributing stubbornness or reluctance to contact to mental characteristics child development. Don’t attribute your child’s erratic behavior solely to your own account. Stubbornness or unwillingness to obey does not reflect it real relationship to you. Most likely, the reluctance to obey is simply a new expression of the physical and mental strengths and capabilities that the child has discovered in himself. Parents should have a good understanding of what the child can and cannot do. Don't set too many rules and restrictions. If a moment comes that requires your child’s obedience, for example, he needs to stop playing and go to the store with you, prepare him for this in advance. Warn him that you need to leave in a few minutes, so let him finish the game. When the time comes for your child to comply, be firm in your decision. Praise him if he responds quickly and positively to your demands. Tell him how glad you are that he is coming with you.