How to become a good father. How to learn to be a good father and husband to make your family proud

In terms of the amount of attention paid to children, fathers engaged in business differ little from fathers who simply work a lot, and these are the majority now. How to compensate for the lack of time to communicate with children? What mistakes in parenting are most often made by people who have achieved a lot? Is it possible to raise a child to be an entrepreneur and when should you start?

Guilt or joy of fatherhood?

Entrepreneurs with whom I had the opportunity to discuss Family relationships" class="wordlink" title="https://www.7ya.ru/pub/family/">семейные отношения !}, often admitted that they considered themselves bad fathers. On weekdays they come home too late and too tired. They have neither the strength nor the time to pay enough attention to their children. On weekends they are also not always free - it happens that important “informal” negotiations are scheduled for the end of the week or you need to prepare for an upcoming business meeting. It is not surprising that such fathers always feel guilty, and their wives are tempted to manipulate this feeling.

In the short term, attempts at manipulation using reproaches about poor performance of parental duties can bring the desired result. But after some time, this technique will stop working: seeing the need to choose between home and work, the entrepreneur will very likely choose work. And not because he is a callous and soulless egoist. It’s just that everything works out there for him, there he is the smartest, the most important, the most competent, but in his family he doesn’t have such a feeling. Over time, his “scales” will tip in favor of work, but this is not what you would like, right?

How can we ensure that a man stops feeling guilty about his parenting qualities and rejoices in fatherhood? In my opinion, it is best to create positive motivation by making the man feel that the children love him. There is no need for rude flattery - just mention in a conversation with your husband what your everyday life is filled with: “The child talked about you,” “The son bragged about you today,” “The children miss you and are looking forward to the weekend.” Such evidence increases a man’s self-esteem and encourages him to strive to communicate with children.

Protect your spouse from the nightmare of all young parents - a night vigil near a newborn. It is much better for both business and family if a man gets enough sleep at night. Don't expect him to coo with the baby: most men aren't interested in that. Wait until the baby grows up a little and communication with dad becomes more meaningful and productive. But do not exclude affection, teach both - husband and child - to be gentle with each other, to give warmth and affection. Cultivate in them a sense of kinship and closeness.

Time for children

Not only entrepreneurs, but also their wives, as a rule, have little free time. But children are children, and both in ancient times and today they give us a sense of stability: they will continue our family, we will not leave what we have achieved to no one knows, we will not throw everything we have gained into the nameless cosmic void. Therefore, neglecting it would be a terrible mistake.

How to build quality communication with your child in limited time? The secret is simple: set aside 15 minutes a day when you can be alone with him so that no one will bother you. Ask your child what he would like to do and do what he asks. During joint activities, you can ask your son or daughter questions: what was good today? what's wrong?

Maybe he did something outstanding, achieved something, learned something? Or maybe he did something stupid? If necessary, talk about your own news and nonsense first: this will teach your child to share personal experiences and accept his mistakes. Laughing together about the time you got out of the car and stepped in a puddle is an invaluable experience. This way, children will learn not to make drama out of ordinary problems and forgive themselves for their mistakes.

Have family dinners. We have a tradition of sitting down to the table on Friday evenings with the whole family. Together with the girls, we set the table, invite dad and start the meal, and everyone shares five good events over the past week. This brings us closer and helps us learn more about each other, as well as about what makes each of us happy or excited. We also learn to listen to each other.

If your husband doesn’t mind, you can agree on a time in advance and bring the children to his office. The daughter or son can draw or do homework next to my dad’s desk, “working with my dad.” Typically, entrepreneurs are proud of their children and will be happy to introduce their subordinates to them. In addition, this is a great opportunity to tell and show the little ones what their dad is doing. You can explain that his job gives the child the opportunity to go to school. good school and the whole family go on vacation to the sea.

Children and money

It is very important to teach children to respect not only their father’s work, but also money. In solving this difficult problem... pocket money will help you. For example, we give our daughters small amounts every week. And when girls ask me during shopping trips to buy them another unplanned toy, I offer them to pay for it from their savings. When they pay for it themselves, one hundred or two hundred rubles no longer seem like small change to them, but look like quite a serious amount.

We have five children, and it’s very interesting to see how differently they handle money: some spend it all at once, others save. If there is not enough money for a “dream toy,” we give the child the opportunity to earn money. Our eldest daughter vacuumed the carpets in my husband's office, baked cookies and made candy for clients at my center. The average earns money by looking after the kids and doing feasible housework. We keep a list of their work achievements and, in addition to pocket money, at the end of the week we also give out honestly earned money.

It is important to give your child the opportunity to experiment. For example, my dad once taught me financial independence by suggesting that I could make sandwiches and sell them in his company. I am sure that the positive experience influenced the fact that I now manage my company.

Our daughters are still too young to teach them what the cost of a product consists of or how to find customers themselves, but I am sure that children who have inherited the gift of entrepreneurship attend their first business school at home, in the family.

Don't force your children to make your dreams come true.

Another common problem in parent-child relationships is the desire of parents for their children to fulfill their unrealized dreams. For example, an accountant mother, who dreamed of becoming a ballerina as a child, forces her daughter to go to a dance club, not noticing that the girl hates it and wants to learn, for example, to play the guitar. Sincerely wishing the baby well, the mother nevertheless does not very well understand where her desires are and where her daughter’s desires are.

Entrepreneurial dads also want the best for their children, which is why they often load their offspring with a variety of activities. But this is not always for the benefit of the child. It is much more useful if mom and dad try to understand what the child himself wants, observe the impulses of his soul and support them.

At one time, I believed that my girls should skate and swim. As a result, one of them spent more time in the locker room than on the ice, and the second swallowed water in the pool and refused to listen to the coach. I changed my tactics, deciding not to impose my ideas, but to follow the wishes of my daughters. Now one of them is learning to draw with great interest, and the other is enthusiastically engaged in Indian dancing.

But what if the child does not express obvious interest in anything? You can offer him a dozen various types classes to choose from. If he likes something, try working out with him a few times, and then ask if he wants to continue on his own. If your child is studying under the guidance of a teacher, it makes sense to discuss the motivation system with the teacher. The main thing in such activities, especially at the initial stage, is to maintain the child’s interest without hurting him or lowering his self-esteem.

Think over a list of activities that children will do only with dad. Depending on the age and gender of the children, this list may vary. Agree on the list with your husband before telling it to your children.

It is very important to share both your successes and failures with your children. This also applies to business failures. This allows children to accept their own mistakes more easily. They feel more close to their parents, realizing that mom and dad trust them.

Decide for yourself whether you want the children to take whatever part they can in their father’s business. In my opinion this is great idea. Children see what he is doing, begin to respect his work and learn to earn money themselves.

Be sure to have family meals. Once a week is enough. This brings the family closer together, and it also allows you to summarize the week for each family member and for the whole family as a whole.

Spend informal time with your children. Your presence at the school play is, of course, important, but just playing together is equally important. This won't be easy for a busy dad. But you can, for example, specifically set aside an hour for games or other joint activities on a day off.

Talk to your children. Ask them if they feel loved. Do they have enough attention from their parents? Find out what kind of attention they want. You may hear completely different things than you thought were important to your children! And also tell them what kind of attention and help you want from them. Teach them to talk about their needs so that in the future they can safely talk about it and not suffer from the fact that others do not know what they want.

Comment on the article "How to become a good father? 6 tips for busy dads"

I'm fine. That is, against the background of how it happens with others - it’s good, but in general it’s bad. Every day someone gets divorced, I'm not original. And the man who initiated the breakup is not God knows what a rarity. And children, even small and very, very cute ones, cease to interest their fathers - and this is not news, it happens. And if you compare it with what could have been, everything is good. I have my own apartment, I don’t have to go anywhere and recreate my life. In September I will go to work, where they are waiting for me...

The attitude depresses me ex-husband to the children... and his constant complaints that I am “immersed in my personal life”:/ Since April he has been without work, in May he transferred 1/3 of the severance pay (60 tr), then he did not pay anything for 3 months, he took the writ of execution to the courts to the bailiffs, in August he began to transfer 9 tr (1/3 of the average salary in the country). Recently, a minor asked his dad when he would go to work, to which he received the answer: “I have 7 million, I don’t have to work anymore, at all”: (Large...

Despite all the diversity of papal thoughts, for a happy family life It is not at all necessary to understand all his thoughts. Sometimes dad opens his mouth to express his thoughts out loud. And God forbid either mother or little children try to comprehend his, father’s, ideas. However, children don’t even try, but mothers often show complete lack of understanding and, worse, begin to argue aggressively!! Of course!, flog such nonsense, even in front of children. Dad, of course, such a reaction to his bright ideas is not weak...

1. Understand for yourself that life is no longer subordinate to your needs. The sooner you accept this fact, the sooner you will find happiness. 2. Become attentive to what is happening. Men, most often, are proud and do not see the needs of others, especially in a new environment. Look around and find what you can do to create harmony. 3. Prepare to become a receptionist. When people talk about fatherhood they mean love and support, but in reality it's about moving things around. Your help will be needed...

Living in a metropolis, young parents have less and less time to spend time together with their children. Therefore, adults are looking for the most effective opportunities for the development and education of children, interesting options organizing joint recreation. We found a solution by presenting a unique exhibition format that has no analogues. Interactive exhibition children's leisure And family vacation- will become a unified information platform for the sociocultural infrastructure of modern childhood and...

1. Helping the child develop independence and separation from his mother. The father gives the child a different experience of communication between an adult and a small person, unlike the mother’s. During the first year of life, the child perceives the mother as an extension of himself. Even my mother’s voice is perceived as my own at first. There is a strong symbiotic bond between mother and baby. Dad is an external, unknown object, and therefore very interesting for the child and an important source of everything...

Here is (very briefly) about the types of men and their attitude towards fatherhood at the very early stage - when you are expecting a child. Dad is expecting. He is delighted that the baby will be born soon. He joyfully awaits him and is ready to walk with expectant mother for all kinds of training courses. He shares his worries with her, listens to all her complaints, looks after her and takes care of her. New status“I am a father” usually inspires him. What does such a dad need (from you) to maintain his great attitude? Share your experiences with him...

Section: Fathers and children (how to be a good father after divorce). Here we have a man who supposedly wants to be a father with “OBJECTIVE” reasons for not seeing his child on weekdays, and he is also given advice on how to build a child’s mother. This is the only way to become a real dad.

One way or another, you will soon become a dad. It may not be easy for you to get through the next nine months before your baby is born, but imagine what it must be like for your loved one. Huge changes are taking place in her body, her hormonal levels are changing, her weight is increasing, she suffers from nausea and back pain. The mental and physical comfort of your wife and future baby now depends on you. Sympathize with your wife. Of course, endless complaints and whining are terribly annoying, but try to imagine yourself in her...

You can, of course, buy a gift. But there is no gift more valuable than the one in which your own efforts have been invested. Make one with your baby, one and only. It’s very simple to make, but... But... and after many years you will look at it with great pleasure, especially at these small little hands and legs, which have now grown up and caught up with, or even overtaken, mother’s and father’s... Paints are now on sale especially for kids (in everyday life they are called “edible”). Prepare a big...

02.25.07 (6 months 5 days) In the morning Dima and I are sitting in the Angelina hall in a chair. Just for a few seconds I was distracted by the newspaper Dima on the TV Angelinka stood up on a chair and held her hands on the table, which was 40 cm away. As soon as we saw it, we got scared and grabbed her; she had stood up on a chair before, but this was her first time holding onto a table. I had to remove the chair and let her crawl on the blanket, but she still wants to stand on her feet, leaning on the sofa or chair. She can't be left...

Dad and daughter: working on mistakes. Fathers and Sons. Family relationships. When I ask my husband for advice, he most often suggests that I decide for myself. Then the children feel good, and the father is an authority for them, then education somehow happens by itself.

Unfortunately, my child is growing up without a father, but in general, a father (a good one!) is very much needed. - on this occasion, I was once also given advice to look for the reason in myself.

thanks to all. a lot of good advice. I will try. I’ll write later how it ended 05.11.2007 17:24:07, Lana2007. I was very worried - if dad communicates so little with his children, what kind of relationship might he have with them (this relates to the question of how to become a good father)?

"Your dad is very good man, but I can’t live with him. By the way, good advice mother - before making a decision, contact a specialist to find out what But the father usually does not make such decisions, his head is occupied only with his own personal issues.

How to become a good father? 6 tips for busy dads. A daughter or son can draw or do homework next to their dad's work. In addition, this is a great opportunity to tell and show the little one what their dad is doing.

Need some advice. Girls, share your experience. I am marrying a man who has a child from his first marriage. Maybe it will be even more difficult for my child - there is a new uncle, there is no father.... These are just words, I will never be able to forcibly take the father away from the child and...

Section: Wife and husband (how to become good husband and father's book). How to become a good father and beloved husband? Our life together is just beginning. We are taking our first steps: the wedding is in two months, the bride is pregnant.

— A few truths that will make your marriage strong
— How to be a good spouse: 10 rules
— Simple tips that will turn any man into a great husband
— How to become ideal husband for his wife from leading psychologists around the world
- Why is it so difficult and at the same time easy to become a good life partner?
- Conclusion

In principle, all the qualities listed below are inherent in real men, regardless of whether they are married or not. Simply, even after the wedding, do not forget to treat your wife like a knight, not allowing you to lift heavy bags, holding the door, and kissing goodbye.

Treat your wife with respect. And if opinions on any issue do not coincide, understand one thing: your spouse is an independent person and is not obliged to act only as you think is right. Know how to negotiate and find compromises.

Keep what you promise.

Don't be late! If you must arrive at a certain time, be punctual.

Learn to listen to your spouse. Don’t just pretend to listen, but pay attention to everything she says and try to understand the essence.

Don't lie! Honesty and openness are the basis of long and happy relationship. Treason is like a type of lie, and it cannot be justified by anything. If you decide to have an affair in your marriage, think about what you might lose when your double life is revealed.

Don't be lazy, or at least minimize the habits generated by laziness.

Don't be selfish! Try not to say “I” often, replace it with “we” - your wife will appreciate it, believe me!

Don't be jealous! Sometimes only mild, playful jealousy is allowed, which does not affect the spouse’s mood.

Never raise your hand to a woman. In a dispute, do not make threats or get personal.

Show your love for your wife, remember that your Wife is your Beloved Woman!

Please your wife with various little things. Surprise! This may be a very insignificant sign of attention, but it is important with what emotions it is presented.

Treat your mother-in-law and father-in-law with respect. Help your wife's family to the best of your ability.

Trust your wife and share your thoughts with her. Emotional openness brings people together and serves as an expression of love. Learn to trust your wife if you want to gain her trust.

Don’t be shy about telling your wife that you love her and are grateful to fate for giving you a meeting with her. Warmth in relationships helps reduce stress.

Make her laugh, share how your day went, tell her what worries and interests you.

Hug and kiss your wife just like that, for no reason. Don't forget about the intimate side of your family life, improve yourself and try to please your wife.

Support her endeavors. Your support will give your wife confidence that she can rely on you in any situation.

If your spouse is depressed about something, ask questions, cheer her up by bringing her a cup of tea, or just listen.

Be romantic! Happy marriage It’s unthinkable without this.

Periodically arrange dates with your wife - this will remind you both of the pre-wedding period and add freshness to your relationship.

Remember your wedding anniversary!

Be yourself, not the superhero you think your wife is ideal for. Although you need to improve yourself: play sports, watch appearance and your diet.

Put yourself in your wife’s shoes more often, this helps nip some quarrels in the bud.

Stick to your life values, including your spouse in them.

Be strong and wise so that your wife can always lean on your shoulder - both literally and figuratively.

How to be a good spouse: 10 rules

Yes, this is not a panacea for all the problems that await you in your family. But all women dream of being treated this way. If you try to change your usual pattern of behavior, you will immediately notice how the person next to you changes.

You will see and feel gratitude in action unconditional love, which will give you the strength to enjoy life. Appreciate a person while he is around, so that later you don’t cry from losses like a child. And the 10 rules below will help you with this.

1. Speak.
Women love to listen to men. Give your wife compliments, constantly.

This free method is the strongest antidote to hysterics. Once every three days, at least remind her that you love her.

2. Give.
Women always welcome surprises. Train yourself to do to your wife small gifts with no reason.

Giving an unexpected gift is the same as declaring your love. This is the attention that every person needs.

3. Hug.
This is a manifestation of tenderness that works better on a woman than any expensive face cream. If you regularly stroke and hug the woman you love, she will become more and more beautiful every day...

4. Be calm.
Everyone has emotions, but for men they follow their thoughts, not ahead. The female psyche is very complex, this is due to constant hormonal changes in the body. Accept this fact.

The next time you see that your wife is “on edge,” stay calm and create a counterbalance. And there will be one less quarrel!

Some women are susceptible to strange topics of conversation. Skip these chunks of text, but don't forget to ask questions from time to time. With this secret, you will be a desirable companion for any woman.

6. Allow.
Let your wife meet with her friends and go somewhere without you from time to time. Be sure to sponsor her get-togethers with her friends.

7. Be silent.
What you shouldn’t talk about with the woman you love is your ex.

8. Plan.
Spend 2 hours a week with your wife doing interesting things - you can take a walk, go to a restaurant, play sports together, watch a movie, draw. But this should only be your time. Even if you don’t have such a need, do it. Over time you will get used to it and you will like it. Intimacy is about common things.

9. Improve yourself.
Focus on your development. Read, train, learn new things - your wife will be proud of you. With a husband who is developing, you need to be on the same level - so this will encourage the woman to also work on herself.

10. Remember.
You must have a goal that is not related to your family, aimed at the outside world. Family is your support; with a reliable woman next to you, it will be easier for you to get to where you have always dreamed of going. If you view marriage as helping you achieve a selfish goal, you will do anything to save your family.

Simple tips that will turn any man into a great husband

Give your wife time and energy.
Show your love in front of her friends, tell her how great she looks or something.
Trust her!
Be romantic. Buy gifts from time to time, but not too often - you might spoil her.
Help her family with everything: with shopping, repairs, etc.
Always tell the truth whether it hurts or not. It's better for her to learn from you than from someone else.
Listen carefully to your wife and do not take this as a lecture.

How to become an ideal husband for your wife from leading psychologists around the world

1. Become a real man first! And then get married. To make your family strong, prepare for life together.

2. Learn to truly love your wife. Love is a feeling when for the sake of someone you can sacrifice your dearest; when you don’t demand, but give absolutely unselfishly. Therefore, if there is no love in the family from the husband, then everything collapses.

3. Be attentive. Give gifts and flowers not only on holidays. Plan joint holidays and entertainment.

4. Show sacrificial concern for the well-being of your family in all areas - spiritual, physical, material and others.

5. You need to become a good father. You must take an active part in raising your children, without shifting all responsibility for their spiritual and moral development at his wife.

6. Be kind and compassionate.

7. You need to learn to fight your carnal desires. It is in the power of a man to follow or resist the impulses of the body.

8. Another problem for men: pride. A man was created to be the head, and he always has a reason to be proud.

9. A good husband will not be rude to his wife. He will treat her like a princess.

10. Earn the trust of your family, “win the hearts” of your loved ones with deeds, and not with empty promises.

Why is it so difficult and at the same time easy to become a good life partner?

One of the reasons why it is difficult to become a good husband is that a woman's idea of the masculine ideal will change dramatically throughout family life. a very complicated thing. At first, a woman needs a passionate lover with a beautiful appearance, but after years of marriage, her stereotypes change. Now she considers an attentive, sensitive, gentle man to be a good husband.

The qualities that truly help a man become a husband after his wife's heart are likely to vary from woman to woman. But you should remember that there are qualities and preferences that all representatives of the fairer sex want to see in their man. When a husband shows them, he will become the best and most desirable for his wife.

One study in which women were asked what the most important quality a man should have in order to female point vision to be considered ideal, showed:

Respect for a woman's opinion - 41%
Financial situation - 38%
Give priority to family over work and friends -33%
Be a good father -27%
Responsibility -25%
Be interested in your wife's life -25%

As you can see, women are not so demanding and any husband, if he wants, can become for his wife ideal man, whose leadership she will happily submit to.

Conclusion

In the life of every man, regardless of his age, there comes a time when he decides to settle down and start a family. This usually happens when he meets a woman with whom he is ready to grow old and raise children.

However, after getting married and becoming a family man, not everyone manages to become a good husband for their other half. Fortunately, this is quite easy to achieve. The main thing is to always listen to your heart and be guided by love for your wife. The simple steps described in this article will make your future together with your spouse much happier.

The material was prepared by Dilyara specifically for the site

What is it like to be a father? The rules for raising a child by a father are changing along with the development of society and changing ideas about traditional family values. Using the positive tips described below, a father can help his children become more confident and improve their self-esteem. He will learn how to deal with children, help them and be truly loving.

Families can be very different these days. Many raise a child alone, some couples prefer not to marry, some live with representatives of older generations. Over the past decades, public perception of the norm has changed, the number of working women has increased, the number of divorces has increased and remarriages. All this affects maternal and paternal roles.

Communication between a modern father and a child is very different from what it was like decades ago. Fathers have more options and a different approach to how to fulfill their role. Modern people no longer automatically rely on their own childhood impressions. He understands that the behavior of his own father will no longer be inappropriate in our realities. Studies have shown that understanding and kind fathers raise children with higher self-esteem. They achieve more in life, they are more popular with others and they adapt well. Loving father guarantees excellent support without imposing your will. So how to achieve good relations father and child? Try one of these tips!

Spend time with your child

When a father spends time with his child, he can demonstrate his values to him. Children grow up quickly, and there will never be a better time to connect. There are many great ways to have fun with your kids.

Raise with love and a positive attitude

All children require a positive approach and discipline rather than punishment. You just need to learn to set reasonable boundaries. Fathers need to remind children of the consequences of their actions and model desired behavior in positive ways. A father who communicates calmly and thoughtfully demonstrates love for his children well.

Be a role model for your child

It doesn't matter whether the child himself understands it, his father's behavior always serves as a model for him. A girl who spends time with a loving dad grows up knowing how she should be treated. She expects respect from guys and knows what to look for in a partner. Fathers teach important things to both boys and girls, demonstrating honesty, modesty, and a responsible attitude.

Earn your right to attention

Fathers should start discussing important things with their children from the very beginning. early age. In this case, the most difficult issues that will arise over the years will be easier to solve. Take time to listen to your child's ideas and concerns.

Be your child's mentor

To be a good father, you should teach your children what is right and what is wrong. Reward their good behavior. Watch what your child does right choice. A father interested in parenting demonstrates to his children every day correct examples that allow you to learn the basics of life.

Eat together

An important part of a happy family life is having dinner together. This gives children the opportunity to talk to their parents about what they are doing and what they plan to do. This is a good moment for a father to listen to his children and show his attention. This creates a basis for family communication.

Read aloud to your child

In the modern world, people are surrounded by television and the Internet. It is important to take conscious steps to encourage your child to enjoy reading. To do this, you need to read it out loud to him. Start reading from a very early age, and then teach your child to read independently. Instilling a love of reading is The best way provide the child with personal and career growth in the future.

Respect your child's mother

Parents who respect each other and demonstrate this to their children create an atmosphere of safety. When children know that their parents respect each other, it is easier for them to feel accepted and respected.

Start acting as early as possible

Show interest in your baby even before he is born. Try to understand your role as a father during your pregnancy or adoption process. Start touching, holding, playing and talking to your baby from the very first days. When a father is busy raising a child, he clearly demonstrates to him that he is interested in him and that this relationship is of great importance to him.

Final Conclusion

Few events can change a man's life as much as the birth of a child. Responsibility for another person is a serious task that brings many happy moments. There is nothing more beautiful than watching a child grow and become an adult. If you use the tips above, you can learn how to parent and be a great, understanding and loving father.