Why don't girls appreciate who loved them? Why don't many girls appreciate good treatment? Is it possible to get a girl's respect?

The better we treat a person, the less he values ​​us. There is little logic in this, but it is a fact. It often happens that a guy loves a girl, looks after her, solves all her problems, in general, blows away the dust from her, but she openly struggles and does not appreciate him. And the more the guy runs after her, the worse his situation.

The girl believes that the guy will not get away from her and that he can be twisted into ropes. By and large, she is right in her judgment. Over time, either the guy will completely withdraw into himself and become a real slave to his woman, or he will walk away from such a wife. Still, they saw a situation where she is all in fur coats and yells at her man with the latest obscenities, and he, stooped, nods his head like a donkey. The second option is very well described in the movie “American Beauty”. When the main character got tired of this situation and, having lost weight and pumped up, he began to look after his daughter’s friend. And the interesting thing is that other women begin to willingly look at such a man, because they sense an approaching divorce and a promising single man.

Both scenarios are sad. What to do young man. The simplest and effective way- just change the girl. This method is very fast, convenient and cheap. The main thing is to rebuild yourself and your behavior. So that the other girl does not see weakness, seething love and the opportunity to manipulate a guy in love. And, unfortunately, almost all girls begin to use their men when they are given such a chance.

Everyone knows that in a relationship, one is the leader and the other is the follower. So the guy needs to turn from a follower into a leader. Immediately initially show that he is in charge. Then life will change radically better side, and the girl will respect and hold on to such a man. And you don’t have to worry about the fact that it will be difficult for you. Over time, you will be able to behave for real, but the girl will remember your previous strict behavior and will be a real good girl.

The second method is much more difficult. It is used if a guy cannot live without her at all (although this is an illusion) or there are children whom he does not want to leave without a father. You just need to forget about your girlfriend. Do only what you need. Don't listen to her at all. Start taking care of yourself. Lose weight, get pumped up (just like in the movie), always dress brand new, devote more time to work and achieve a promotion in position or salary.

You will laugh, but when a girl is not held on, it means that she is one of many for her “price”. She starts to twitch. First he will try to yell at you. We just ignore it. You may not come home for a couple of days. You should also limit sex. You don't need your woman. She's the one who needs you. If you do everything correctly and don’t give yourself any slack, then your woman will begin to hold on to you and respect you. If this does not happen, then it needs to be changed. Of course, you will be hurt, but then there will be no other way.

Loving a woman makes us weak and submissive. This is our main mistake. Do you love it!? Keep it to yourself, sometimes letting your emotions out. But don't overdo it. Then everything will be fine!

Are you familiar with the situation when a girl rejects your advances, citing the fact that she is not attracted to you as a man, and then begins to build a relationship with some bastard who is no match for you? It would seem that there is no logic here, because this bastard is inferior to you on all fronts.

At the same time, you spent a lot of money, a huge amount of time, transferred a whole bunch of emotions. What can I say, you love this girl and are ready to build a serious relationship with her. However, your competitor is not like that. At best, he invested nothing in this girl; at worst, she invested in him. Nuclear delirium. You are with this girl with all your heart, but she refuses you, and he doesn’t put her in anything, but at the same time she falls in love with him and is ready to wag her tail or something else in front of him. Where is the logic?

Motherfucker is a strong man

Usually in such situations they answer something like: “Women are very strange creatures. They have no logic, so don’t try to understand them.” However, in reality this is not the case. There is logic in everything. Of course, the female instinct that tells a woman that you are a loser and that bastard is a tough man cannot be fully called something logical, because this instinct works according to outdated data, but if we understand that a woman’s choice is influenced by her instinct, we can understand why women don't appreciate good attitude to them. I'm better than him

This is exactly what girls think when you shower them with gifts, give them countless compliments and give them your all. free time. A strong man is an independent man. A strong man is a man who can contradict a woman. In some cases, instinct behaves so illogically that women fall in love with men who beat them, considering such redneck individuals to be strong males. However, let’s return to the most common case, when a man devotes all his free time to a girl, and she tries in every possible way to run away from him to some bastard who doesn’t care about her. The point is that this girl doesn't think you're a strong enough man because you treat her too well. “Since he gives me gifts and looks after me, it means that he needs me more than I need him. Therefore, this man is weak. I’ll find myself a strong male who won’t appreciate me,” says the female subconscious.

Women despise weak men

Women look down on weak men, so forget about everything your mother taught you as a child. There is no need to try to please a woman. Try to please yourself, promote your interests, taking into account the interests of your girlfriend. If you treat a girl better than she treats you, she will consider you a weakling and send you to hell. Therefore, treat the girl the same way she treats you. If she gives you expensive gifts or just constantly tries to please you with something, reciprocate her feelings. If she even congratulates you on your birthday only in words, reciprocate. If a girl demands something from you, but she is not ready to give you something in return, then she already considers you weak man, your relationship is already doomed to collapse.

Girls appreciate a good attitude

Girls appreciate being treated well when they treat you well too. If she loves you, you will not have any problems after the gifts given or the attention paid to her. Most likely, she herself will want to give you something based on her financial capabilities, or simply to please you with something. However, this happens quite rarely. Most often, the girl is simply bored or she is just looking at you and there is no talk of any love. In this case, you need to adhere to some proportionality.

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It would seem that kindness is the most attractive quality a person can have. But it does not always benefit its owner: it is a known fact that women are attracted to exactly the opposite traits. This seems completely illogical. Why don't girls like kind guys? Is there anything that can be done, and does it make sense?

Common Causes

Every established opinion has an explanation. In this situation there are several of them:

Substitution of concepts. What characterizes a person as good? Usually this is a desire to come to the rescue, support, take care. But very often people confuse kindness with weak character. It seems that a kind person will not be able to show toughness where it is needed. This substitution of concepts repels women. They may feel like this guy is being pushed around by everyone. The other side of this substitution is that the manifestation of cruelty is considered an indicator of strength.

To be fair, it should be admitted that not all representatives of the stronger sex correctly understand what kindness is. It is worth being able to distinguish the kind from the weak-willed and completely controlled by his mother.

Charming villains. Another reason is that the entertainment industry represents evil people at their core. better light: They are witty, strong, calculating and elegant. Having watched enough of this kind of films and TV series, some young ladies bring this idea to life, firmly believing that embittered, indifferent and tough men actually have subtle spiritual facets.

Such views affect not only men: some girls, following fashion, are called “bitches” and behave accordingly. It is logical that such a lady and a companion need an appropriate one who could “pacify” her. This applies to situations when the girl does not want Serious relationships- then it’s easier to while away the loneliness with someone who is also not looking for them, rather than breaking the heart of a serious person.

To be fair, tough people often know exactly what they want and are more confident in themselves. They care little about the opinions of others about their own actions. This has a fascinating effect, such people are considered more reliable and independent - perhaps the decisive factor in a man’s attractiveness in the eyes of women.

Habit. What is considered the norm in society. If a girl grew up in a family where her father behaved cruelly, this could greatly affect her attitude towards the opposite sex. She simply cannot imagine that her husband could behave differently. Her impression is this: there are no good people, there are those who successfully pretend.

This opinion is reinforced by adult women who have lived their lives with oppressive husbands. They teach: “everyone endures, and you endure,” “so what, what cheats, does not hit,” “well, let him drink, but the man is in the house.” It is sometimes difficult to imagine how such absurd opinions take root in our minds.

The other side of the coin: sometimes an outwardly respectable citizen turns out to be the worst scoundrel. So with the “bad guys” the future is at least immediately clear, you don’t have to wait for a catch, and sometimes there’s even a glimmer of hope for a pleasant surprise.

Thirst for thrills. There are ladies for whom life is not sweet without a scandal. They believe that loud quarrels and passionate reconciliations are an indicator strong feelings. How can you quarrel with someone who is calm, kind and balanced? If not, then the young lady begins to miss strong emotions and the guy seems uninteresting to her. Absurd insults, accusations, and provocations appear. Relationships turn into a nightmare.

Sometimes the situation looks different: a guy considers himself good, but at the same time he is a pedant, demanding accuracy, punctuality and correctness in everything. When everything is squeaky clean, most ladies will be bored and want some kind of fun and ease.

If others consider someone a scoundrel, and then he suddenly treats someone well, this is very flattering to the chosen one. And vice versa: if a guy treats everyone well, his beloved cannot feel special.

Sometimes there is a game of contrast: this is well understood by excellent students whose brother or sister is a C student. The parents praise the latter for every four, but the next five does not evoke emotions. If someone is rude, any manifestation of tenderness is perceived as something special, and if a person is always kind, some stop being grateful and appreciating it.

Stockholm syndrome and other pathologies. There are cases where the victim experiences an unhealthy attachment to his tormentor. She herself can explain this in different ways, starting from the great mission to help the unfortunate and ending with fate, karma and reincarnation. It is rare when a girl is able to look at a situation from the outside and understand that what is happening is not normal.

Attachment to an unpleasant type does not always mean a diagnosis. Sometimes we are talking about low self-esteem - a girl can simply force herself to believe that she is worthy loving man. Depression can also have these symptoms. This should not be confused with excessive self-confidence when a girl claims that her beloved is simply a person not understood by anyone in the world, but she will definitely be able to understand and change him.

What to do

What can a guy do if he feels like he is being avoided for this very reason? Firstly, you should make sure that everything is really so. Ask friends or family for advice and do an honest self-examination.

Someone might come up with the idea of ​​hating girls and showing it to them in order to get the desired reaction in return. On the Internet you can find a lot of advice on this matter: harass your chosen one, give her no rest, be sarcastic and forget about gratitude. If such a relationship seems healthy to someone, then these people will be happy. But in real life everything is different.

If you re-read the reasons listed above, it becomes obvious that such girls do not quite correctly assess what is happening in their lives. Relationships with them will not bring happiness; there will be a constant struggle with whims or phantom fears.

In addition, a truly kind person is not like this for the sake of some girl, but for his own sake. Having sunk to the level of a scoundrel, you can become interested in a couple of infantile beauties, but lose self-respect.

The best option is to adopt the advantages from negative characters, thanks to which all their shortcomings are eaten up. First of all, as already mentioned, confidence in yourself and your actions. Understand what is important in life and why it is needed. Pay less attention to the opinions of strangers.

Sense of humor. Good, “correct” people rarely know how to joke and understand jokes. There is no need to take yourself and what is happening too seriously - communicating with cheerful and spontaneous people will help.

Good appearance. This is where the “movie villain” effect comes into play: stylish, attention-grabbing. A suit that fits your figure, a good hairdresser and a gym will help you not only look good, but also feel more confident.

Such a guy will definitely meet someone who can appreciate his merits. The main thing is not to waste your money on those who don’t need it.

Olga, Chelyabinsk