Do you want to clean often? Take care of your personal life! I don’t like to clean and I don’t like messes - what to do What will happen if you don’t clean the house.
The main reason is one - stupidly sorry for time.
I really love coming home from work to an apartment sparkling with cleanliness, where all the specks of dust and specks have been dispersed to the far corners.
You come home on Friday evening and the weekend is ahead. And you can... Then there is a long list of things to do for two days. And among all these tasks there is no cleaning. Dream!
What have I not done in the fight for purity? I got a cat in the hope that he would be able to lick the dust. Dog, hoping that he could wipe the floors with his skin. Two children... Children lived up to their hopes best of all, unlike completely hopeless animals. But still it was not possible to achieve the ideal.
A long time ago I had a special aunt who came once a week and brought cleanliness and beauty. But there was purity and beauty for the first couple of months. Then problems with cleanliness began. Finally, an awkward moment came when I was no longer satisfied with all this. I gathered my courage and prepared a speech, the purpose of which was to hint at the poor quality of cleaning. But Natasha got ahead of me, making her speech right from the door - without any hint, demanding that her salary be increased.
At this point we parted.
Over the next few years, I tried to decide what was more painful for me: spending weekends cleaning the apartment or spending energy looking for a new aunt and further communicating with her.
The decision came naturally. Like mushrooms after rain, companies suddenly began to appear in Moscow one after another, offering apartment cleaning services.
While I was wondering which company to choose and whether it was worth getting involved in all this, the Bclean company offered to test their services.
Everything happened somehow suddenly and quickly.
On Friday, after a hectic work week, I entered a clean apartment, fell on the sofa, where there was a mountain of ironed clothes, and realized that there were two days of weekend ahead and no cleaning.
Dreams Come True.
A couple of days before the scheduled date, I went to the website and placed an order for cleaning, choosing a convenient time.
As a bonus, in addition to the basic cleaning of the apartment, it was proposed to choose three additional options.
The range of additional options is quite large, but it was not difficult to choose. The windows are clean, no need to wash. Washing the refrigerator - I’m just about to get a new one, it’s stupid to wash this one. Cleaning my kitchen cabinets is about the only place where I have exemplary order. Washing dishes - it’s stupid to exchange desires for a couple of plates.
In the end, the only things left were: cleaning the hood (there really was a problem here, I tried to clean it in the summer, but gave up halfway to success), cleaning the microwave (to be honest, it was almost perfectly clean without it, but I can’t give up) and ironing linen
Having ordered an ironing service, I specified how many things would be ironed for 350 rubles. That's how much it costs. To which I received the answer: whatever you prepare.
In general, this alone was worth getting involved in the experiment.
The fact is that if I only feel sorry for the time spent with cleaning, and sometimes I even enjoy using rags to clean things up, then ironing things is not my thing at all. Just horror, horror, it’s not my thing.
The day before hour X they called me and asked if I had changed my mind (don’t get your hopes up!). By the way, at any time (before the start of cleaning, of course) you can go to the website and change the terms of the order. Add options, subtract them, change the arrival time of the cleaner, cancel the order altogether.
And you don’t need to call anywhere and you don’t need to explain anything to anyone. For an introvert, if not a social phobe, like me, this is simply priceless.
An hour before the appointed time, a woman named Natalya called me (yes, ironically, she also turned out to be Natalya), introduced herself, and clarified the address.
When placing the order, just in case, I wrote that there was a cat and a dog living at home. And until recently I didn’t know what to do with Plusha. Still, the prospect of staying in an apartment with a rather large unfamiliar dog will excite few people.
But after seeing how in a couple of minutes Natalya and Plush found mutual language, I left the dog alone. And my own apartment.
Yes. In addition to the fact that I am a social phobe, in some ways I also don’t give a damn. That is, I am not at all tormented by nightmares about a complete stranger being in the apartment, especially in my absence.
I've already been asked how the cleaning process works. That's why I answer right away. In my case it looked like this.
I came home to let Natalya in. We talked for literally five minutes. She asked if I had any requests and which room to start with. I didn’t care about the rooms, but I had only one desire - to return in the evening to find a clean apartment.
Five minutes later, Natalya began her work, and I went to mine.
All. No conversations about the weather, nature, hard life - which the constant visiting aunties love to have.
Five and a half hours later, when both Natalya and I had finished work, I returned.
I won’t tell you that the apartment was unrecognizable, that it shone and sparkled.
No. It was usually a cleanly decorated apartment. Except that the hood, which one’s hands never reached, shone with unprecedented cleanliness. No miracles or frills. I would also achieve the same result in five hours of cleaning.
But... Five o'clock! Five hours that you can spend with Glasha if she is at home. Or dedicate to yourself and have a normal rest, work out, go to an exhibition... And get a taste of the weekend. And not to feel the slight aftertaste of two days quickly disappearing somewhere in worries and troubles.
Everything is simple, clear, as scheduled. No attempts to talk about life. Prices that are clear in advance and without surprises can be found on the Bclean website. Very democratic.
Although no. There is still a surprise. But it’s extremely pleasant - a promotional code for a 500 ruble discount when ordering the first cleaning 49lvtH.
And discounts on subsequent cleanings.
And who loves?! No, of course, there are strange young ladies in nature for whom there is no greater pleasure than fiddling around all day with rags, a vacuum cleaner and all sorts of bottles to make mirrors shine. But I haven’t met anyone like that, I’ve only heard about it.
For an ordinary, normal woman who has many other interests in life besides taking care of clean floors, the need to clean up most often causes an attack of depression. Let's try to approach things in a completely different way! What if you like it?
First. The right attitude. Under no circumstances allow thoughts like: “Ugh, cleaning up again, how disgusting, I hate these rags...”. Instead, give yourself the attitude: “I’m so fast and dexterous, now I’ll quickly tidy everything up and sit down to watch my favorite movie (read a book, paint my nails...).” Favorite energetic music helps to create such a mood. Turn it up loud and do everything to the music!
Second. Don't make Napoleonic plans. No one can do the deep cleaning of a three-room apartment alone in one day. That is, you can pull it off, but by the evening you will stop feeling like a human being. What are these sacrifices for?
We will do things differently. We spend no more than an hour a day cleaning and do only what is absolutely necessary. For example, 15 minutes in the kitchen: wash the dishes, stove and refrigerator, wipe the tiles and sink, mop the floor (drawers can be dismantled tomorrow and the day after tomorrow). 15 minutes - for the bathroom: it is unlikely that it will take you more time to wipe the sink, bathtub, mirror and toilet. We leave the lockers for the next day. Another 15 minutes - for the hallway, and the last quarter of an hour - for one of the rooms: put things in their places, wipe the dust, vacuum.
The next day you will tackle the drawers and cabinets in the kitchen and bathroom, but remember - no more than 15 minutes per room! In addition, you can wipe the floor in the room and hallway with a damp cloth. The third or fourth day will come, and you will have mere trifles to complete.
Don't try to do everything at once! This will exhaust you and you won't get any satisfaction from the cleaning results.
Third. If you live with a family, do not put all the housework on your fragile shoulders. Let your husband vacuum the rug or carpet in the living room in the evening, and let the children wash the dishes after dinner and take out the trash. Accustom them to this methodically and calmly, do not shout “I’m sick of this cleaning!”, “Why always me!”, but explain that their help will leave you with more free time, which you can spend on your household: taking a walk or playing lotto with children, read to them, help them do their homework.
A few more tips
Get started right now!
Every evening before going to bed, walk around the room and put everything that is scattered: the newspapers you read - in the trash can, books - on the shelf, plates and mugs - in the kitchen (and wash them right away!), socks - in the closet or in the washing machine... So be it Children do the same in their rooms. Tomorrow there will be much less to do!
Every day, start cleaning by collecting 17 (or 27, or 48 - depending on the characteristics of your home) “to throw away” items in a bag. Do this with excitement, fun, collecting everything that you will not need in this life: empty bottles, pens and markers that do not write, expired lipstick, written notebooks and similar nonsense. All this goes into a bag and into the trash! 
Never go to bed without cleaning the kitchen! This will take no more than 10 minutes - wash the plates and put them back in place, wipe the sink and stove, put the lying around items in their places.
Spare no expense in purchasing special rags, sponges and napkins for cleaning. These beautiful multi-colored little things will not only save you time, but will also cheer you up while cleaning - it is much more pleasant to wash the sink with a bright pink napkin, which perfectly absorbs water and is easy to wash, than an old torn T-shirt.
If you are too lazy to start cleaning, remember that house dust contains a huge number of terrible mites and other microscopic creatures that can seriously poison the lives of you and your family. Find enlarged images of these monsters on the Internet, and you will immediately have a powerful incentive to go to war against them!
Before you take the trash bag to the trash bin, look in the refrigerator - there probably are a couple of packages or jars with something spoiled or rotten, and at the same time you can get rid of that.
Hang a cute panel with pockets in the hallway different sizes– you can find this in a special store or sew it yourself. The pockets are convenient for storing receipts, keys, glasses, travel tickets, remote controls, phones and other small items that have a habit of constantly getting lost. You can also put fresh newspapers and magazines here.
Learn to perform several actions at the same time! 
This is not as difficult as it might seem at first glance. For example, while you are cleaning the bathroom, you can fill it with hot water detergent mountain dirty dishes in the kitchen - it will turn sour in 10-15 minutes, and you will spend only a few minutes washing it. Or vice versa: fill the bathtub, toilet and sink with cleaning products, and after you wash the dishes, you just need to wipe the plumbing.
Ruthlessly get rid of such “garbage bins” as unnecessary figurines, figurines, boxes and frames, which are given to us in abundance by colleagues and friends.
Another “cleaning complication” is clothes that we haven’t worn for a year or more, but for some reason we keep. Do the smart thing: take a couple of hours to sort through all those T-shirts, bathrobes, blouses and jeans, leaving only your favorite ones. Give everything that is well preserved, but does not fit in size or color, to a friend, sister or neighbor. Put everything that is hopelessly out of fashion or worn out in a bag and leave it near the trash cans - the owners will be found very quickly. Give the children's things from which your child has grown up to relatives or take them to an orphanage, a social service, a church, and finally - there they will find someone to please with unexpected gifts; we have a lot of needy families.
And remember: the main thing is that you need to do such rapid cleaning not once a month, but a little every day.
Modern people have a complex relationship with cleaning. The world throws up many temptations just to distract you from your household responsibilities. Job? Please, irregular working hours suck you into projects and self-realization, there is no time for cleaning. All these fitness routines, walks, shopping, meetings with friends, travel, weekends with family outside the city - everything just to make your home desolate. And the truth is - the less you clean, the less you want.
Beauty.ua
Example from personal experience. Last year, I worked around the clock on one exciting project, and the desire to clean disappeared completely. Somehow I couldn’t pull myself together and spend Saturday cleaning. But my husband, who was in a creative search, seemed to have a second wind. He bought the entire assortment of rags in hardware stores in our area. The funds he bought could be resold in bulk. It was good and right to clean for someone who enjoys it at a certain time.
And watching the joy with which he did his homework, I came to the conclusion that the key to good cleaning is having fun. Then the house is clean and your soul is good.
It's simple if cleaning is a joy. What should those who don’t love her do, but should? Some simple tips how to love cleaning. Just try it.
Use beautiful things
Go shopping and buy beautiful rags and mops. They clean up no worse than old T-shirts, but they bring more pleasure. The mechanism of new shoes works here - so what if there are already 5 pairs in the closet, but there are definitely no such pairs yet?
All these cleaning tips with rags only work for those who like to suffer. Imagine that people come to your house to clean with a pile of rags. Practical, but looks terrible.
Don’t skimp, decorate with beautiful things - it’s not more expensive than 1 new T-shirt, but the joy is many times greater.
Buy quality products
When I see tips on how to remove lime from taps with baking soda or remove urinary stones with vinegar, my mood immediately spoils. It's like using a pager instead mobile phone or ride a horse instead of a taxi. The problem with the remedies from grandma’s chest is that they are very weak against the traces of modern man’s life. Soda is a light alkali; it takes too long to break down old fat. By the way, just like dishwashing detergent, it is very difficult to clean the oven. And vinegar is a weak acid; you need to soak the bathtub for 3 days to peel the stone off the surface. If you just rub for a long time without baking soda and vinegar, the effect will be about the same.
Therefore, when cleaning an ordinary city apartment or house, it is better to use modern means. Home cosmetics, both professional and household, are safe for people, animals and things. Plus much less effort and much more economical. If you buy good remedy, it will cope much better with plaque, heavy dirt, and odors, because it is practically nanotechnology in every home. It is better to buy products for direct use, the packaging of which says so - for rust, for acrylic bathtubs, for the oven, for the chandelier.
vkurse.ua This way you will definitely not confuse alkali with acid and will not damage the surface. In terms of price, there is almost a direct relationship. The less effort a product requires, the more it will cost. Yes, you will definitely overpay for marketing, but the manufacturers have definitely worked hard to save you time.
There is a rule in professional cleaning - the higher the degree of mechanical impact, the weaker the product should be. And vice versa. Therefore, beautifully packaged, delicious-smelling products will make your life a lot easier. My friends enthusiastically told me about a chandelier cleaning product - I sprayed it a couple of times on the chandelier, it quietly flows off along with the dirt, you don’t even need to rinse it off. This - the right remedy for modern cleaning. Although a weak alkaline solution of soda and a little rubbing would have done the same thing, but there was zero delight.
Visualize dirt
See how modern tools work. This is either gel or foam - they reflect flowing dirt very well. Pure white foam turns into something nasty and brown. You see the results instantly. And the feeling of deep satisfaction that all this muck is finally destroyed greatly contributes to peace of mind.
Therefore, you need to learn to visualize dirt. For example, type 4 garbage bags various rubbish and put them to stand by front door until the end of cleaning. This way your brain will “see” that it has become cleaner and will release endorphins into your blood. For each cleaning, determine what you can conceptually clean. For example, work on the hood once, wash the ventilation grille twice, and wash the cabinets on top a third. There is no need to clean complex objects at once, take one and enjoy the dirt that goes away.
Clean in one go
They say - clean often and little by little so as not to get too tired. I rubbed it here, wiped it there, you could go crazy. Often and little by little it lasts little by little and not for long. Life turns into endless, meaningless cleaning. Why are we so much happier in the countryside than in the office? Because I planted carrots, picked them and ate them. I made a table, called my friends, put a carafe of wine and drank it with a fresh salad from the garden. The results of your work are felt much faster. It’s the same with cleaning, if you clean it up, it should immediately be clean within acceptable limits.
It is physically very difficult to restore complete order and get rid of dust, clutter, dirt, and stains. Therefore, clean 80% each time, of which 60% is cleaning for 2 hours, which you do each time, and 20% is cleaning 1 complex element. For example, you usually wash the floor, fold things, wipe dust in visible places. If you clean like this all the time, in six months you will exclaim, “I’m so tired of living in this dirt,” because the dust behind the washing machine, behind the radiators, in the photographs will overwhelm you. I practice adding 1 complex object entirely to each such cleaning - for example, washing the refrigerator, including the dust on it, or washing the windows and vacuuming all the corners in the openings, or the fronts of the cabinets and the top of the kitchen, or washing the washing machine and everything near it. This way, you have a short cleanup time and the dirt doesn't accumulate.
domsdushoy.ru Clean alone
Do you remember how cleaning was done in our childhood? Dreaming of getting some more sleep, dad is already beating out carpets in the yard at 8 am. Until the children clean up, they won’t go outside. Mom gives out commands, directs actions from the kitchen headquarters, and scolds whoever is needed. Everything is clear, everything is in order. A sense of comradeship, teamwork, labor training, or what else is said in such cases. But it’s not a pleasure - it’s physically difficult to clean, and also to manage everyone at the same time, it’s completely mind-blowing. How did they stand it all?
Tested: the fewer people getting in the way, the easier it is. Cleaning time is a great time to be alone with yourself, to think or not think at all, listen to your favorite music, and go through old things. Exactly what is needed.
What to do with children? Let them take a walk outside and take a break from gadgets. Most likely, they will live in a world of robots and cleaning companies, and they will not need global cleaning skills. The time will come, and they will face their cleaning alone.
Tatyana Dzutseva: Why do we resist working at home? Why should a woman create?
Despite a large number of household appliances, modern women have no less problems with cleaning and putting things in order. Helpers are hired, it is not fashionable to clean yourself. And even those who cannot hire help, following this fashion, simply do not clean up.
Life shines so much and shimmers from the pages of glossy magazines that most women are poisoned by it. The house is not clean, not comfortable, things are lying around. Women hate cleaning, especially washing the floor, they hate ironing, what's the point if there are sheets with elastic bands and they will still be wrinkled the next day. They hate washing dishes with all their hearts, and some hate taking out laundry from washing machine or putting things in their places. In order to take on cleaning, some people need a “special mood”; for many, the need to clean up the house causes an attack of depression “because there are not enough closets, there is a lot of clothes, you don’t know where and what to put, it’s almost a headache.”.
Cleaning and ordering become something burdensome and terrible. Housework is considered a waste of time when there are so many other interests in life. There is only one question - what interests does a married mature woman have? For such a woman, the question is how to create a loving, clean and cozy space for herself and her loved ones? - comes first.
A woman is so infantile that she does not want to burden herself with this kind of boring activity. We are impatient, we believe that today desires should be quickly satisfied. We would like for us to restore order ourselves or for someone to come and do it for us. After all, everything is so beautiful in magazines, and no one washes the dishes. Life should only be “PLEASANT”, everything unpleasant is excluded as unnecessary.
Modern women know how to work, draw up business plans, marketing strategies, but they do not know how to establish daily life and everyday life
It was a revelation to me that so many women do not like to take care of their home. These are the reports I receive:
“I have no interest in creating comfort in the house. I don’t have time, I’m doing something else. And I also caught myself thinking that sometimes this annoys me. Let me explain: I’m cleaning the bathtub, and I’m thinking, “I wish I could hang a shelf here, which my husband and I have already discussed, to which he agreed. It would be nice, convenient, clean. “And then I remember that it’s already the second year, but there’s still no shelf.”
“I always resisted working in the house. I thought it wasn't mine. I avoided being at home altogether, now I’m burdened by homework. I never created comfort at all. I didn’t cook at all before, I went to restaurants almost every day.”
“Things are not very good in terms of order in the house. We have few closets, and it is very difficult to maintain order, constantly moving things from one place to another.”
The woman “pushes” herself out of the house, so over time the house becomes alien, and the hearth fades out. The house becomes a home, a place of shelter not only for the woman herself, but also for all family members.
A woman takes her energy, her soul and her plans - all of herself - out of the house. A woman can no longer live at home once again move, do something again, everything becomes a burden and causes depression.
What kind of space of love are we talking about if a woman is irritated and enraged by everything?
What kind of real relationship are we talking about if a woman is too lazy to make an extra movement, much less create comfort or bake pies?
I know one businessman who built a two-story apartment according to an individual project. His wife works, so every other day a maid came to clean. When I entered this luxurious house, I immediately felt that there was no woman in it, there was no feminine energy in it. That’s when I intuitively realized that things were bad, the maid couldn’t handle it, she wouldn’t fill the house with comfort, warmth and love. Only a woman can do this. The man did his job - built a house, but the woman did not do it because she had other concerns - work. Two years later I found out that they were divorced.
If your house is empty, unfilled, then you are bad wife. You may be a good worker, but you are a bad wife! And no maids will help.
This is a special art, this is a special feminine Magic and Sorcery - to take care of your home, space and make it happy and fulfilled. If you don’t feel anything behind these words, then you have sailed very far from your feminine essence into male achievements or into an infantile fairyland.
Chronic disorder, unwashed dishes, lack of desire to do household chores indicate that you are stuck in childhood. Deep down, there is hope that someone will do this for you or that these problems will disappear on their own. You convey to your husband and your loved ones your complete helplessness and failure as a wife. And this is your RESPONSIBILITY.
Order in the house is an internal natural need of a mature woman. A cozy home is the basis women's life, on which happy, correct and mature relationship with a man, and happy children grow up.
A woman who does not want to create comfort due to laziness or fatigue is no longer capable of anything, much less building a relationship with a man.
Home is a woman’s main creativity; it should become the main source of strength and inspiration for you and the whole family. Comfort and order in the house gives strength to a woman, so it is the woman who is interested in this more than anyone else.
Your home is your mirror. It very truthfully reflects what you live, what you think about, what you feel, where your energy flows - into or out of your family.
If your home needs men's hands, then you don’t know how to build a relationship with a man, which means you don’t know how to interact with him as a woman. For some reason, you decided to rely on yourself and keep everything under your own control, or you eliminated the man as unnecessary.
I have a married friend who has been running the kitchen faucet for several years. wrench. When I asked her why they didn’t fix the tap, she thought about it and replied that, firstly, she was busy, and secondly, it would probably be expensive. Then I asked her why she didn’t ask her husband. She thought for a moment and shrugged. She forgot about him, forgot that she could and should ask him for this. How often do we accumulate all the power in the house and rely only on ourselves. Naturally, we don’t energetically deal with this kind of problem, since it’s a man’s problem, and we don’t let a man in, in case he makes a mistake, does something wrong, and it all falls on our shoulders. The next time I came to visit her, the faucet was made, my husband bought it and installed it himself, what a faucet with a flexible hose. As my friend said: - This is my “microphone”, I wash and sing. Two years with a wrench, and now a microphone.
The solution to everyday problems is, first of all, your relationship as husband and wife, your worth as a woman, your ability to ask for and accept help.
The house should not be a calvary, your bad mood, it is your inspiration, your Magic, your Magic - to fill the house with happy energy.
How to fill your home with comfort:
You need to start not with cleaning, but with your thoughts.
- What I want?
- And how do I want to live next?
- As before or...
Firstly, the house is alive, and it did not impose itself on you. He is the foundation on which YOUR WHOLE LIFE is built. I will definitely write an article about rented housing, about the lack of my own housing. This is also not just like that, not a coincidence. There is a very deep psychological reason behind it.
Treat the home where you live today as a living being. By changing the way you think about your home, you will change your life.
Any housework should be conscious. You must invest a part of yourself, your love. Whether you iron, cook, or wash the floors. This is the only way to create ENERGY AT HOME with LOVE, and not from a state of laziness and depression. And in this feminine power– make your home energetically charged, not empty and cold. A woman can do much more at home than at work.
Remember where you should direct your attention and your energy, into your home or out of your home? By taking care of your home and cleaning it, you fill your life and the life of your family with MEANING.
Treat your home with care and respect. Feel it. This interaction can be very healing for a woman. After all, a home for a woman is a sacred space, it gives peace and harmony, so it cannot become cluttered, remain uncleaned and desecrated by negativity, quarrels and swearing. Do not allow yourself to become unkempt, neglected and dirty. Do not indulge yourself and remember that female connivance has a high price. Such a house has no future, since without a woman there is no home.
You are not just wiping the dust, but you are setting energy in motion; energy should not stagnate. You are not just cleaning windows, but opening and clearing the horizon for the plans and goals of your husband and family. The woman is the keeper of the hearth. And the hearth is the life of the family, there will be no hearth, there will be no family, there will be cohabitation or economic marriage.
Homework can take on a different meaning and no longer seem empty and unnecessary. Household chores should become pleasant, should energize and make happy, first of all, the woman herself. This is how she shares her love and affection with her loved ones. When he irons clothes, because the most dear and beloved will sleep on it, when he cooks, when he washes the floors. And your loved ones will definitely feel it. You can't help but feel it. And you will no longer do this demonstratively and sacrificially, bending under the weight of household chores. There is no love in such an action, and no one needs it.
A man may not notice your new tablecloth, but he will feel your energy and your interest in the hearth. Remember yourself as a child, when you ran home from a walk, it didn’t matter to you what kind of tablecloth your mother laid, but it was important that the house was comfortable and that your mother was home. What a feeling of happiness, security and joy this gives. A man in this sense is a child, he comes and it is important for him to receive this state of comfort, coziness, care and home.
A woman should not be a cook and a scrubber, but a HOUSEWIFE. She must transform her home, play in a space where everything is subordinated to her thoughts, her desires and her energy. Where every corner gives strength and gives an amazing feeling of warmth, light, care and beauty.
COMMENTS FROM CONSCIOUSLY.RU:
Evelina Gevorkyan, Ch. editor of the parent portal Consciously.ru, family consultant: Tatyana Dzutseva’s words really struck a chord with me, and they hit me hard. She diagnosed the state of affairs and the condition of the modern woman so accurately and to the point. On the one hand, we all understand how important comfort, warmth in the family, and gratitude in the eyes of our husbands are for each of us for the care and beauty that we give. On the other hand, cleaning is annoying, exhausting, depressing, and becomes meaningless five minutes after the children have played in the cleaned room...
If you succumb to the destructive feeling of guilt, which especially easily covers perfectionists and excellent students, you can go far and become even more unhappy. Therefore, I personally, agreeing with the “diagnosis” made by the author of the article, choose a completely different method of treatment!
Relax and not touch scattered things, find an au pair and stop convincing yourself and others that this is expensive, unaffordable and unworthy of a good housewife. If suddenly it happens in your life that you feel bad from taking care of the house and your relationship with your husband is being destroyed, you especially need to take care of yourself! Go for a walk in the park, to a beauty salon, while the house is cleaned by a hired professional cleaner, a neighbor or a visiting woman who is looking for work and will help you for a budget payment. Your sacred duty is to save your strength, recharge yourself in what brings you joy, come home and be even more recharged from the sight of shiny sinks and mirrors! In this state, we will be “more efficient” in meeting our husband home from work in the evening.
I know women who are sincerely and organically happy in the home. A day spent at home, rather than in the office, inspires them and fills them with peace. But I also know from myself that there are women whose talents and personal fulfillment are far from needlework, mops and pots. None of them are better or worse - they are all different! It would be a crime to drive creative nature into the framework of a proper, “happy housewife.” Again, from my sad experience of studying this issue I will say: sometimes I get such “cleaning” inspiration that the process of cleaning the apartment gives incredible pleasure. But for me, for example, this doesn’t happen often. Less often than necessary to maintain cleanliness. In such cases, it seems to me that it would be right not to drive yourself into depression, wanting to achieve gold medals in the “traditionally female field”, but to seek help - from children, from your husband or from specialists (depending on the situation).
It is important to listen to yourself, take responsibility for order in your soul and in your home, and choose the optimal lifestyle that brings joy.
Svetlana Shnyrova, instructor in preparation for childbirth and yoga for pregnant women, psychologist: About cleaning as a measure of femininity. I love it when articles about femininity inspire me to be a woman; in extreme cases, they can motivate me to blissfully iron clothes and wash the toilet, or, at worst, help me imbue myself with the eternal feminine values of preserving my hearth. But I really don’t like it when the authors of such articles put pressure on me to feel guilty and call me childish just because I don’t like cleaning.
However, let’s put aside personal scores and delve into the essence of the text entitled “Women’s Connivance.” I quote: “What kind of space of love are we talking about if a woman is irritated and enraged by everything? What kind of real relationship are we talking about if a woman is too lazy to make an extra movement, much less create comfort or bake pies?” From this the conclusion suggests itself that you will not be lazy - create comfort and bake pies, and according to the immutable law of magic and feminine magic, the space of love is guaranteed to you.
And oh, Gods, you yourself created it with your gentle feminine hands, and most importantly, so simply, with the help of a floor rag and a whisk for beating eggs. And thus, a charming changeover is inserted into the consciousness of women, in which the feeling of love is firmly tied to the ability of women to create comfort. And it turns out that love is not the work of your soul, not the relationship between two people, not their personal history, not many other internal and external factors, but it’s all about home comfort.
And what convincing examples exist of this: how one woman did not clean her luxurious house, earned by her husband, and what do you think, got divorced! What a horror! In fact, I completely agree with the author, if a woman is irritated and infuriated by everything, then we are not talking about any love. But will love come if, overcoming her hatred of cleaning, she accomplishes a feat and does spring cleaning? Sorry, I doubt it. But magic is not discussed, you either believe in it or not. Believe me, it will definitely work! And we believe.
After all, such recommendations are universal, accessible, simple and... absolutely useless. And if you are observant, you will probably easily remember couples you know whose love is alive, even if the woman does not bake pies or scrub floors. And also couples who have three-course meals and freshly ironed sheets, but problems in their relationship still cannot be avoided. Life, fortunately, is much more diverse than it sometimes seems. Although personally I am for cleanliness and pies! Don't think anything bad.
Olga Kolyada, practical psychologist: I agree with many of the author's thoughts. I myself work with women, including on the topic of creating home comfort, so the topic is close. Yes, modern women have many problems with their attitude to everyday life and household chores. Yes, infantilism also occurs. Yes - when a woman “leaves” the space of the house with her consciousness, the house cannot be warm, cozy, filling either for her or for the man. And yes, when the house is good, it has a very beneficial effect on everyone living in it (and on those who come too).
I fundamentally disagree with the idea that home must be the main meaning of life and the main business of a woman. For some this is true, but for others, spiritual tasks lie on a different plane. Organizing your home will be useful in any case, but priorities can be very different. It is also strange that a woman should do everything herself, with her own hands. In my opinion, the Mistress is the one who decides how her house should be arranged and what is needed for this. And with her own hands she will wash the floor, sew the curtains, cook the food...
If the house is too big or if there is not enough energy/time, it is more important that the Housewife sees a complete image of how and what should be in the house, rather than running around “plugging all the holes” in matters of everyday life. What is more important is to be present in the house with my attention and feeling, filling it with the warmth of my soul, and not what I specifically do in it. I can, for example, sit, embroider or knit, play with the children, and rejoice at how the house is cleaned and brightened under the hands of a skilled au pair. If at the same time I do not distance myself from the house (like - oh, how good it is, I don’t have to think about cleaning and cooking) - someone else’s hands will not make my house empty and uncomfortable. It will be much more useful if I do exactly what no one else can do in the house except me, or do cleaning and other household chores on my own when I need it for pleasure or for my internal organization (yes, many women know how to organize things with the help of cleaning). your inner world).